


The Paths We Choose

by its_not_my_fault



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Blood and Injury, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Happy Ending, Not Beta Read, beebo help us, i am hellstar trash, wise!behrad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:53:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26539903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/its_not_my_fault/pseuds/its_not_my_fault
Summary: Zari is injured, unconscious, and very possibly dying, and John knows it's all his fault.
Relationships: John Constantine & Behrad Tomaz | Behrad Tarazi, John Constantine/Zari Tomaz | Zari Tarazi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 34





	The Paths We Choose

**Author's Note:**

> The real world sucks so I decided to live in a fictional world for a while. The original plan was to write a story for "dream" which was the word prompt for today, but I got sidetracked when Behrad showed up.

Almost all of the Legends had come by to tell him that it wasn't his fault, but John barely heard any of them. It was his fault. He'd been the target, not Zari. And if she hadn't been trying to save his ass, he wouldn't be covered in her blood now. Sara had urged him to go clean up, but he couldn't let go of Zari's too-cold hand, and he wasn't leaving her side until he knew something for sure, and maybe not then either. Gideon promised to do everything she could, and he knew she had a hell of a toolbox, but Gideon couldn't always save everyone. 

"Please come back to me, Zari love," he whispered into the hand he held. They weren't new words, but they seemed to take more breath than ever to say. He'd cared about her the last time they'd been in a situation like this--he'd been enraptured with her. But now that he knew he loved her? Worse, he hadn't told her. He'd been waiting on some perfect moment, some right idea of how to say the words, some inspiration of bravery to tell her, and now he might never get the chance. 

With one hand, he stroked her hair away from her face. He still clutched one of her hands in one of his, and he squeezed it once before placing a kiss to her palm. Her hand and his were sticky with blood, but it only bothered him because it was her blood when it should've have been his. Battling with that monster had been his risk to take, and he'd known he could use his magic to heal himself if he'd needed. 

"I'm not worth this," he whispered. "I'm not worth you." 

"She disagreed with you." The voice that came from behind him was the one he'd dreaded hearing the most, the last of the Legends to come through. Behrad had been on a separate mission and had only just returned. Whatever Behrad said to him, whatever Behrad did to him, John deserved. Probably whatever Behrad would dish out and more, but John couldn't turn to look at him. 

"I should've stayed away from her. I should've never believed I could bring someone into my world. I'm so sorry, Behrad. This is my fault." 

"That's interesting. I heard from everyone else that it was some tentacle demon squid Cthulhu like monstrosity with projectile spines that hurt her." Behrad came around the other side of Zari, who did at least look more peaceful now. Behrad took Zari's other hand in one of his. The expression on his face was so purely one of love, it hurt John to see it. Behrad and Zari loved each other so much, for all their differences and struggles. Zari had talked about their many years at odds with each other, and how overjoyed she was that they were finally starting to feel like family. John couldn't let Behrad go on thinking John wasn't to blame. 

"It was aiming for me," John confessed. "It was supposed to hit me." If there was anything he deserved almost as little as Zari standing between him and a monster, it was Behrad's forgiveness. 

"Ah, okay, so you grabbed her and used her as a shield then, obviously," Behrad spoke as if they were discussing nothing more severe than John forgetting to pick up something at the grocery store, making him mental. 

"Hell, Behrad, you know I didn't. I'd do anything to keep her safe and happy."

"You didn't stab her, and you didn't use her as a shield, so how is this your fault, John? You say you'd do anything protect her, and somehow you think she wouldn't feel the same way about you? Not to mention, my sister is a force of nature. You can't make her do anything she doesn't want to do, and you can't stop her from doing whatever she's set her mind to. That's who she is. Either you love her for who she is, or you don't love  _ her  _ at all."

John's laugh was hollow and bitter. "Who says I love her, mate?" He shouldn't have said that; he  _ should not _ have said that. Because he did love her, but he was panicking and lost, and he might be losing the person who made him want to stop walking every path alone. 

"Your face says it every time you look at her, every time you hear her voice, every time the thought of her crosses your mind. Stop being an idiot." 

"What if she doesn't make it?" John whispered, terrified of bringing his own words to life. 

"Miss Tarazi is going to be fine. The wound has healed, and I have almost finished removing the toxins from her bloodstream," Gideon interrupted. "A little more time and a lot of rest, and she will be right as rain." 

The relief was almost too overwhelming to bear. John closed his eyes against the tidal wave of emotion crashing over him. 

"There, see?" Behrad asked. "Now, why don't you go get cleaned up, and find her fresh clothes. We all know she has moved most of her stuff into your place."

"I don't want her to wake up without me here."

Behrad threw John a half-grin. "Then hurry up." John decided to do as told, and wondered at the Tarazi siblings' ability to make him do what they wanted him to do. 


End file.
